The Infamous Christmas Pudding
by theywillneverknow
Summary: Light sequel to the one-shot 'Cheatin' In Your Dreams' in which Lily finds out not all is what it seems. L/J


Lily Potter felt like a complete and utter idiot

_Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me__ yada yada. _

_This is a short sequel to my previous Christmas one-shot 'Cheatin' In Your Dreams'. I really recommend reading 'Cheatin' In Your Dreams' first because otherwise this fanfiction may not make much sense in places. I wrote this because several people asked me to write a sequel and I am a reviewer's slave. =D Enjoy._

_**The Infamous Christmas Pudding**_

Lily Potter felt like a complete and utter idiot.

Here she was, trying to enjoy Christmas dinner, and all she could think about was that her husband, the soon-to-be late James Potter, had erotic fantasies with her mother in the starring role. Perhaps he would like to launch himself over the table and just hump her right now? Surely that would be his perfect Christmas present?

She wasn't bitter.

Really, she wasn't (well, maybe a little), but she was more than a little grossed out. In fact, she had honestly struggled to keep down the prawn cocktail starter. This gag-reflex was really her self-inflicted punishment for having an over-active imagination. The previous night she had not only kicked her perverted husband out of their bedroom, but had also had several nightmares which were really too horrible to think about at the dinner table. Lily shot another dark look at her husband as she viciously stabbed her gravy-soaked carrots. She was further enraged when he grinned back at her and then proceeded to laugh loudly at something his mother-in-law said.

Was she really jealous of her own mother?

No.

'Yes.'

This was just the worst Christmas ever. Worse even, then when Petunia had bought her a hideous neon orange scarf that had clashed terribly with…well….anything and her mother had forced Lily to wear it because her sister had 'gone to all that trouble' and that she was 'being totally ungrateful'. She almost threw her cutlery down out of pure frustration. To make matters worse, her husband had been merry and cheeful all day. He had an air of supreme confidence and breeziness about him that made Lily want to hit him over the head with what he called the 'fellytone'. That morning Lily had attempted to ignore him, glare at him and even once had slapped his hand away when he had tried to help her wash up. The car ride over had resulted in James attempting conversation for about a minute before Lily turned up the radio and looked out the car window for the entire journey. However, he took this all in his stride, with that maniacal grin plastered on his face and a sparkle in his dark hazel eyes that Lily couldn't understand, and wasn't sure she would want to if she could. What was more frustrating was that Lily found her defences weakening further every minute he was cheerful and full of Christmas spirit. After all, nobody really wants to spend their Christmas sulking and Lily was no different. She wanted to be able to enjoy her Christmas and laugh with her family, but every time she caught her Mum's eyes she had to look away whilst blushing to the roots of her hair. Which had actually resulted in some fairly awkward conversations.

"Lily, are you alright, dear?"

"Yes, Mum. Fine."

"You're looking very flushed."

"Really, I'm fine."

"Oh my gosh!" Excitement, or perhaps hope, flooded her eyes. "You're not…?" Here she gave a sideways glance to James and wiggled her eyebrows in what she hoped was a helpful manner to indicate what she was alluding to. Lily caught on quickly and coloured further.

"No! No. I'm not…We're not. Err….lovely gravy, Dad."

I'm sure you can picture the rest of the meal, what with Aunt Josephine (who wasn't actually a blood relative but a close friend with no other family to speak of) getting drunk on her fourth glass of sherry and announcing loudly that she was going to have to get some incontinence pants because nowadays she just 'couldn't control herself'. This lead to several embarrassed coughs and Uncle Johnathon pointing behind the drunken neighbour and crying 'Look! A bear!' to get her to stop talking about topics that just should not be discussed over Christmas dinner.

Lily had managed to survive most of the meal without throttling her husband and was relieved that soon she would be able to escape for some peace and quiet in the garden. Finally, the Christmas pudding was arriving in all its glory and Lily could feel her mouth watering as it passed by her chair. The scent of everything Christmas filled the air and Lily felt herself relax slightly and a smile curved her lips. Her mother's Christmas pudding was unrivalled, even by the Hogwarts house elves and Lily knew that even when she was 70 she would always associate Christmas with that distinctive smell in her mother's kitchen.

The bowls were passed around, full to brim with pudding and homemade custard and Lily sighed with absolute delight as she took the first mouthful. The richness of the pudding and the sweet custard was perfect, as always and the red head felt her entire being unwind as she sunk lower in her seat. The silence that always followed the first mouthful of Poppy's desert was broken by the man sat at the opposite end of the table.

"Poppy, this Christmas pudding is the stuff dreams are made of."

Lily almost swallowed her spoon.

There was a general muttered consensus around the table and a half-hearted salute of spoons being raised to their welcoming host whilst Lily began choking on her pudding, having successfully removed the offending spoon. Eyes watering, she looked up to find her husband's amused, affectionate gaze directly upon her. Chuckling, he shook his mop of black hair and winked at his wife.

The whole bloody dream had been about food. She couldn't believe it. At once, she berated herself for even thinking that James was attracted to her mother and that she had not guessed her husband would dream about food. Here was the man that had snuck down to the kitchens at Hogwarts twice in one night in order to get pizza and cookies because he couldn't sleep due to the excessive amount of protesting his stomach was doing. Of course food would be on his mind the majority of the time, including when he was unconscious.

Flushing once more, and feeling a bigger fool than she ever had before, Lily Potter managed a weak smile and mouthed three words to her husband that let him know how sorry she was and that she felt utterly idiotic.

'I love you.'

His smile almost knocked her off her chair and she marveled at the fact that he still had the power to affect her as much as he did when they had first begun dating. His smile was contagious and she found herself trying to suppress giggles that were threatening to bubble over into hysterics. Biting her lip she glanced back down at her bowl, but the sight of the pudding that had caused the entire misunderstanding only brought tears to her eyes as she struggled to rein in her laughter. Her gaze was inevitably drawn back to her husband who was actually shaking in his chair; such was the power of his suppressed laughter.

Lily's father looked confusedly between the two young adults but shrugged off their strange behavior as being newly weds. Glancing around the table, Gary Evans noticed a few empty bowls and, smiling genially at the assembled guests, posed a perfectly innocent question.

"Anyone for seconds?"

And it was that exact moment in time that both Potters burst into peal upon peal of raucous laughter that couldn't be stopped, no matter how many strange looks the married couple received from the other guests. It was when Aunt Josephine questioned his sanity that Mr Potter had to leave the room with his fist stuffed firmly in his mouth and tears rolling down his cheeks, supporting his wife who couldn't walk in a straight line because she was clutching her side in pain whilst she continued to howl unashamedly at the hilarity of the situation.

And that was perhaps the merriest Christmas Lily and James Potter ever had.


End file.
